Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose
parents emphasised for him to get married. They had seen so many
marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought
it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have
someone else in mind. However every time the parents left the girls
house, the young man would always say she's not the one! The young man
only wanted a girl who was religious and practising, however one evening
his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and
practising. On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk,
and ask each other questions. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.
The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about
his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his
hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his
shoe size, etc.
The young man replied to all of her questions,
without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up
nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young
man do you have any questions?
The young man said, it's ok. I only have 3 questions.
The young girl thought, Wow, ONLY 3 questions okay, shoot
The young man's 1st question was,
Q1: Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?
A1: She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled
Q2: 2nd question, he asked, you said that you read a lot of Qur'an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?
A2: Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know
the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon insha'allah I've just
been a bit busy.
Q3: The
3rd question the young man asked was, I have been approached for my hand
in marriage, by girls that are a lot more prettier than you Why should I
marry you?
A3: Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she
stormed off to her parents with fury, and said I do not want to marry
this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence.
The young man
and his parents, were once again, left without an agreement of marriage.
This time his parents were really angry. What did
you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted??? What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!
1. The young man said, firstly I asked her, who do you love the most?
she said, her mother, The parents said so, what is wrong with that? The
young man said,'no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his
messenger (saw) more than anyone else in the world'. If a woman
loves Allah and the Prophet (pbuh) more than anyone, she will love me
and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear
for Allah (swt). and we can share this love, because this love is
greater than lust for beauty.
2. The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of Qur'an, can you
tell me the meaning of any surah? And she said no, because I haven't had
time yet. so I thought of that hadith: 'ALL humans, are dead except for
those who have knowledge'. She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time,
to seek knowledge,why would I marry a woman, who does not know her
rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children,
except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madrasa (school)
and the best of teachers. And a woman who has no time for Allah, will
not have time for her husband.
3. The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more
prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose
you? That is why she stormed off, getting angry.
The young man's parents
said: That's a horrible thing to say, why would you do such a thing, we
are going back there to apologies.
The young man answered: I said this on
purpose, to test whether she could control her anger. The Prophet (saw)
said 'do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry' when asked
how to become pious; because anger is from Satan. If a woman cannot
control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do you think she
will be able to control it with her husband??
So, the moral of this story is: One should look for a person who
1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)
2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
3) can control their anger
4) and willing to compromise.
And it goes both ways, so women seeking a husband, should look for the same qualities.
Aisha'h r.a reports "one day I was on a camel which was somewhat
difficult to control and the Prophet s.a.w remarked "you must be
compassionate, whenever there is compassion in something it adorns it,
and when it is removed from something it disgraces it".
SUbhanAllah. mashALLAh awesome article. keep it up.
ReplyDeleteSalam 3likum sister
ReplyDeleteI'm Ahmad From Australia I did chat with you long time ago by skype & please send me your email or skype
thanks
asiri8@hotmail.com
asiri2012